We always seem to talk about how 'stressed' we are. We all have stress, irrespective of age, gender, career path, financial situation… and, we’re constantly bombarded with tips on ‘how to reduce stress in your everyday life’ (confession: we even did our own take a while back, HERE).

It seems as if the older we get, the more ‘stress’ we’re plagued with: financial stress (mortgages, students loans, debt, etc) worries about our futures, losing loved ones around us, fear of failure – not to mention the stress we put on our bodies: poor food/lifestyle choices, pollution, not enough sleep… the list goes on (and on). Stress will always be there - it’s inevitable! So what can we do about it?

Well firstly, we can change our mindset; what if we started thinking about increasing relaxation, rather than continuously trying to reduce stress? It may be easier to feel 'a bit more relaxed' than it is 'a bit less stressed' (maybe prevention is better than a cure?). Let’s give it a go…

STEP 1. CHANGE THE WAY WE THINK AND TALK ABOUT STRESS

Let’s even just stop using the word, if we can help it. It even sounds intense. Often when we’re super busy or feel a lil’ overwhelmed and people ask how we’re doing, we’ll say “I feel stressed”. Sure, it might be a true statement, but it’s not a positive or helpful one. It sounds absolute, negative and it’s a real dampener on any conversation! Let’s start talking about relaxation in place of stress - let’s try and change the dialogue by saying “I’m trying to increase my relaxation”, instead. Positive mind, positive outcomes!

STEP 2. DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL RELAXED

Some tried and tested techniques:

• Call your bestie or someone you love for a chat
• Journal – get all your thoughts down! They don’t have to be coherent. Just RELEASE.
• Have a bath
• Do a digital detox (even for a night)
• Pat a dog
• Take some time out for yourself, however that looks for you - and don't feel guilty about it
• Sleep in
• Watch a favourite movie, read a book or listen to a podcast – something chilled, something where you know the outcome or what to expect (maintain that sense of calm. No thrillers or intense true-crime stories. Nothing that will put your body or brain in fight-or-flight mode).

STEP 3. TALK TO A THERAPIST

Speak to a trusted professional (a counsellor, psychologist or if you're unsure where to start, talk to your GP) who can help you work through relaxation techniques; whether that be guided meditation to overcome fears, anxieties or worries, or be a sounding board and someone ‘neutral’ to talk to about life. Often when we verbalise our fears and worries, we realise they’re really nothing to be really worried about at all; or, we find ways to manage and overcome them.

STEP 4. DO YOUR BEST. AND REMIND YOURSELF OF IT

We all suffer from some kind of anxiety or will do at some point in our lives because the reality is: life is really darn challenging sometimes! The universe works in some whacky ways and no-one knows what life will throw our way one day to the next; and so all we can do along the way is do our best. And, cut ourselves some slack. Not beat ourselves down when things don’t turn out the way we expected them to. Learn from our mistakes - and move on. Tell ourselves that we tried our best this time and next time, we’ll be better. It stops and ends with us – we’re the masters of our own happiness! Just do you, Moxette, and do it the very best you know how.